Things I Am Thankful For

I've been in quite a funk lately. Maybe it is because in a month I will turn 40. Maybe it is because every time I think winter is ending, we head into an onslaught of 40 degree temperatures. Maybe it's because I really miss Texas, especially all the wildflowers and "almost summer" activities that start this time of year. Or, maybe it's because of all of the above. I'm not sure. All I know is, this girl doesn't have time for a funk. So... today, I am writing a thankful post. Here we go:

1. I am thankful for JOE WIDNER. He is a hard worker, he loves Jesus, he loves his kiddos and me with all his heart, and he takes such good care of us. Joe is more than I could have thought about needing in a husband when I was just 24 years old, but God knew exactly the partner I would need. He challenges me, wants the best for me, and is supportive in ways that are unexpected and encouraging. So, he gets the number one spot on my thankful list. And in my heart.

2. I am thankful for my sister, GINGER LUCAS. There is only one person in the whole world who knows exactly what growing up in my house was like, and I am fortunate that Ginger is that person. We have shared joys, heartaches, sorrows, secrets (which will NOT be revealed here!), clothing, beds, strep throat and the stomach flu, hysterical laughter, inside jokes and tons and tons of memories. I hit the jackpot with a sister like Ginger, and I want to be just like her when I grow up.

3. I am thankful for friends. MELANIE HARMON, LESLIE MIDA & JEANETTE HOY - these gals have prayed me through and pulled me through this year. When we left Texas, I couldn't have imagined the obstacles we would face in New Jersey. Some had to do with our new location, others were personal, family crises, and they have stood by me through it all. They called, listened, sent me texts and emails, put messages all over my facebook wall, and most of all, when I felt invisible up here, they SAW me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am a better mom, sister, wife, and daughter because of you three.

4. I am thankful for my mom and dad, JOHN & ANN COONEY. I don't think I was a bad kid growing up, but I know my parents & I had our struggles. Now, I look at my own three kids and think about what I want my relationship with them to look like when they are adults. I think it would look a lot like the one I have with my parents. The kind of thing where at any time I can pick up the phone and ask a random cooking question, like, "can corn meal be substituted for corn starch?" (NO). Or, if something more serious is going on, I can count on them to be "fair and balanced" when we talk. I love that my dad sets up basketball brackets every year during March Madness. I love that my mom likes to teach my kids to cook and knit. I love that my parents, my sister's family, and we can vacation together and come back with GREAT stories. And, that when we come back, we're planning the next vacation. How many families can say that they really enjoy each other? Well, mine can. And, I am thankful for that.

5. I am thankful for ROSS, CHLOE, and EMMY. I have stories upon stories about how the three of them make me think, feel, and learn. Ross is wise beyond his 13 years. He is such a neat kid, has such a kind heart, and tries to always do the right thing. Chloe is my peacemaker. She gives up things that make her happy in order to restore order to our clan (even if she is winning a DSi game!). She is a hard worker and applies that principle to everything she does - academics, sports, friendship. You never get less than 100% from her. And Emmy... she is the sweetest little stinker you'd ever want to meet. High on the drama, high on the affection, high on the disdain...everything for her comes on just that one setting. It makes her a little bit of a wild card, but loveable just the same.

Here are a few more things I'm thankful for, without the commentary.

* oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
* Sonic.
* TIVO.
* seat warmers.
* hot glue guns.
* Tyler candles, particularly the Homecoming scent.
* Halloween in Houston.
* Kenny Chesney.
* self tanning lotion.
* mains & pedis with my girls.
* my blog friends.

I feel much better now that I've written this post. I am thankful for that, too!

TUESDAY'S RAMBLINGS

1. Ross & Chloe missed last Wednesday & Thursday of school because of Snowmageddon.

2. The afforementioned children had Friday & Monday off because of President's Day.

3. Emmy has not attended school since February 5. She had MRSA. Her school is out for "winter break" this week.

3. MRSA is pretty scary. Thankfully, an antibiotic worked to clear up the virus. Wash your hands, people!

4. The weatherman on channel 7 in NYC is Judge Judy's son, Lee Goldberg. They have the same hair.

5. Emmy went skiing for the first time Saturday. She wasn't crazy about her lesson, but thoroughly enjoyed skiing down a BLUE with her momma!!!

6. Upon seeing Joe fall and then try to get back up on his snowboard, Chloe commented, "I have some upper body exercises that might help dad next time we come skiing."

7. An "equal opportunity commentator," When in Victoria's Secret with me yesterday, Chloe observed me picking up a pair of panties. She quickly remarked, "Aren't those a little SMALL?"

8. For Valentine's Day, my husband bought a bottle of champagne and a 6" gateau chocolate cake for us to share. Delicious. And, the reason I need bigger panties!!! :)

9. We are a fmaily obsessed with the Olympics. Our favorites? Alpine skiing, moguls skiing, and speed skating.

10. Joe finally got to see Avatar. He really enjoyed it, but is pretty sure I wouldn't.

A Tale of Two Cities

SOMEWHERE IN BERGEN COUNTY, NJ...

Yesterday, Emmy was home sick (again). We had a 10:30 doctor's appointment, and I promised her that if she was a very good girl, we could go get McDonald's and have a ride on the carousel at a local mall. She held up her end of the bargain, and off we went. Parking, for some reason, was hard to come by at said mall, so we ended up at a different entrance than I expected. We walked by one of my favorite stores, and there was a sale. Of course, you KNOW we got sucked right into the kids area, and $85 later, I had a warm-up and matching shirt for Emmy, 2 pairs of pants and 2 long sleeved, collared shirts for Ross, and a pair of leggings, matching skirt, and velour hoodie for Chloe (See? It really WAS a sale!!) On we went to McDonalds, where Emmy enjoyed her chicken nugget Happy Meal, complete with the most annoying toy ever, a penguin that kind-of yells at you when it detects your presence. When the sister was finished with her lunch, I hit the ATM to get cash for tokens for the carousel. Everything is a process, y'all. We hopped on the last ride before the sweet lady took her lunch break, stopped in the Apple store to price a gadget, and headed directly to the car so I could hit Target before picking the big kids up from school.

Exactly halfway back to the car, I realized I left my bag of purchases somewhere. Emmy and I backtracked to McDonalds, the carousel, the concierge desk, the ATM machine, the Apple store, and asked if anyone had turned in the bag. Nobody had. My receipt was inside the bag, so the person who "has" it can return to the store, get a credit, and purchase what they need/want. I truly believe whomever took a bag with $85 worth of clothing must have needed it more than I did. I am fine with that. And, I hope they enjoyed the $85 credit.

I spoke with my sister this morning and recounted my tale of woe about my missing bag of clothes, and she told me THIS story:

SOMEWHERE IN LAMAR COUNTY, TX:

Last week, she went to the gym. I hate her for that, too. :) She was in a hurry to get her son into his child care room and make her class, so she stuffed everything - coats, etc. - into a locker and went on her way. When she came back an hour later, she realized she left her purse wide open and sitting on the bench. That would cause a sense of panic in anyone, and as she looked through her wallet, she realized that nothing was missing!!! It sat wide open in a locker room at a busy gym for an hour and no one touched it.

Of course, I realize our stories could be reversed, and she would have lost a lot more than $85 worth of clothing. Here's the thing: I want to believe that anyone would return what doesn't belong to them. I want to believe that ALL parents teach their children the SAME values. I want to believe that my children will not be influenced by children who are thinking about making a bad decision. It just isn't the truth.

The truth is, it is much more difficult to do the right thing. It is even more difficult to do the right thing when others are trying to persuade you otherwise. Phrases like, "they'll never know" or "you won't get caught" or "I won't be your friend if you..." or "it's not THAT bad" are ones our children are innundated with. It is up to parents to teach them how to stand up for right in the midst of the wrong that goes on around them.

It really isn't about the missing bag of clothes. It is about the character of the person who now has it. I wonder if there is any guilt, or fear, or shame that comes with the choice that was made. I wonder if the lines between right and wrong are so blurred to this person that he/she just can't see that difference any more. And, I wonder if this is the beginning of a season of bad decisions that may lead this person down a destructive road.

I will probably never know. But, I never thought an $85 bag of clothing would get me to think about such things. And, I hope the person who now has it (or the credit) feels a bit of guilt every time he/she wears an item that is truly not theirs.

ASSORTED VARIETY OF RANDOM

1. It is 20* outside.

2. I am currently obsessed with the color turquoise.

3. My favorite jeans are no longer tight, thanks to the no carb diet and detox.

4. I plan to eat some carbs tonight.

5. I am so proud of the Texas Longhorns!

6. The Cowboys BETTER win tonight. Or else they get no love from this fan.

7. Emmy does not enjoy footsie pajamas. And she told me so at 7:00 this morning.

8. Ross enjoys playing his drums at 7:00 on Saturday morning.

9. It is best NOT to speak to Chloe until after 12:00 on Saturday afternoon. EVER.

10. I have zero desire to see Avatar.

11. Modern Family is so worth the 30 minutes of your Wednesday.

12. It takes 2 "no flushes" to clog the first floor bathroom.

13. It takes a plumber to unclog the first floor bathroom. Plungers don't work. Snakes do.

13. There was a plastic frog on the sofa today and it looked so real I made my 4 year old touch it first.

14. The GLEE soundtrack is amazing.

15. The new BUBBLE WRAP app for iphone is addictive.

16. The living room is surprisingly bare without the Christmas tree. I think I'll but something turquoise to go where it was.

HAPPY 2010!

I remember being 10 years old and thinking the 80s were really going to be something! I was right! PacMan, TI computers, Walkman, MTV and cordless phones are all 80s "inventions". Now, here it is 2010, and I am, again, certain this decade will be SOMETHING!

As I reflect on the the first decade of the 21st century, I remember very happy times!! I was the mom of a precocious 3 year old boy, who would be a big brother at the end of 2000. Our family of three lived in a 1700 sq. ft. house in Lewisvile, Texas, the first brand new ANYTHING my husband and I ever bought together! It was in a cul-de-sac with plenty of room in the back yard for a growing boy and his favorite dog!

We moved in 2001, after Chloe was born, exactly one month before 9/11. Our new house was twice as big as our old one, and was in a great neighborhood in rapidly growing Frisco, Texas. We found a great church, had a great group of friends, and a wonderful school family. In 2005, we welcomed Emmy to our family. What a sweet blessing she was (and IS!!).

We moved again in 2006 to a house closer to our school. We added a pool to the back yard and made many memories with family and friends at that house. We painted one bedroom hot pink, one lime green, and one gunmetal blue. We had friends over for dinner, Bible studies, Sunday School parties, birthday parties, block parties, and family in town. Ross played soccer, baseball, and basketball, and even gave tennis and swimming a try! Chloe was a one-sport girl: gymnastics would become her passion, and our family spent many weekends watching her compete and improve.

We vacationed with my family to Florida, Colorado, and New York. Our little nuclear family visited the Bahamas, Disneyworld, Captiva Island, and the Caymans during that decade. Emmy began school and dance. She took swimming lessons and tried gymnastics. She learned to write her name, count to 50, spell every color you can imagine, and sing the words to pretty much any song you can name. It was a decade of wonderful memories that we shared with the most important people in our lives.

I will be 40 in 2010. At the end of this decade, I will turn 50. My children will be 23, 19, and 15. My middle daughter will have completed her first semester of college, and my youngest, her first semester of high school. Ross, I predict, will be in graduate school. My husband and I will celebrate our 26th year of marriage, and, Lord willing, we WILL be living in Texas. My parents will be 73 and 74! My sister and her husband will celebrate 22 years of marriage in 2020, and their children will be 19, 17, and 15. All the while, it is my prayer that we live life together, vacation together, keep the people who are most important at the top of the priority list, and have a blast doing it all!!!

I look forward to the adventures that await during this new decade. So much can happen in ten years!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I am participating in a Christmas Card Carousel tomorrow! Here is our 2009 card. ENJOY!

Waiting, Hoping, Praying

"Your mom definitely has cancer."

These are not words one ever expects to hear, I am certain. But they are the words my dad spoke into the phone last Friday night. Panic and shock took over at the same time. I became a robot. I could not process more than that. Cancer. My mom. 62. Healthy. No "risk factors." No genetic predisposition to this disease. My first question: why? Why did this happen to her? Why did it happen now? Why am I in New Jersey and hearing this news over the phone? Why didn't I anticipate this? Why, why, why?

After recovering from the initial shock, I had questions. Is it contained? Can it be treated? Can it be cured? How do we do that? What will it take? Do I need to come down? How did she take the news? How are you, dad? Who else knows? How did this happen? The fact is, it has happened to our family. The dreaded diagnosis is a part of our new normal.

The most difficult part of the entire cancer process is the waiting. From the moment of diagnosis, days slowly pass before getting answers to those burning questions. When all you really want is a quick, easy solution, medical science needs time to analyze the data. Our wait was over Wednesday morning, a grueling 4 1/2 days since the diagnosis. Contained (thank you, God.). Low grade (thank you, God.). Transitional cell carcinoma. Taking it to the cancer board, because it is a rare cancer. Removal of left kidney may be "curative," based on the fact that it is contained. More questions. When will the surgery be? How long is recovery? What can we expect in terms of quality of life? Who will be the surgeon? When should I come? How and what do I tell my children?

More waiting. Three days passed before the date was given: Dec. 3rd. 12-3-09. The day my mom will lose her kidney to this dreaded disease. Recovery is a little difficult to pinpoint, because the procedure will be done laproscopically. Yes, you read correctly: they can take an organ out laproscopically. Amazing. Her right kidney is healthy enough to work for both. Her surgeon, Dr. L., is someone we know. Come the day before surgery. Tell the children that Nahnee will be fine, that she needs an operation to take out a part of her body that isn't working any more.

Now, we wait for surgery. It is in five days. After that, we wait for the right kidney to begin working for both. After that, we wait for the post-op pathology results. And then, we wait, and hope, and pray that this cancer is, indeed, CURED.